Today marks the four year anniversary of losing my two identical twins to TTTS (twin twin transfusion syndrome). I know that I did not allow myself to grieve their loss appropriately because I felt I had to be strong for Evan (who was delivered six weeks later). Today (and yesterdday) I allow myself to grieve. I will never forget the moment when I looked at them lying one on top of the other and did not see the flicker of their heartbeats. I knew before the Doctor said anything. I cried for about 48 hours straight, and then shifted all of my focus to Evan..my survivor. He beat all the odds. I am so thankful for him.
The past two days I have been struck again with grief. It has crept it's way back into my heart, as it always does around this time of the year. I allow myself to cry, knowing this is good, and that time does make my wounds hurt less.
I love you my sweet boys, and know that you are safe in the hands of your creator.
4 comments:
Those two sweet little angles will never be forgotten. We will someday meet with them. They will forever be loved.
I'm thinking about and praying for you today. Be gentle with yourself. I hope you are able to take some time today or tomorrow and do something special for yourself and your boys.
hugs friend
I'm so sorry. THis brought tears to my eyes.
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